A: The short answer is this: Confront the problem. Gently, supportively, but firmly, express your concern to your husband. If he concedes there's a problem, ask what he can do to get it under control. If he feels he wants to but can't, offer to get him professional help.

More likely, though, you'll be brushed off with some version of "I can handle it," or "What am I supposed to do to relieve my stress from work?" The hard truth is, if someone wants to drink, there are a million reasons to do so. His work stress may be perfectly legitimate, but he's found a dysfunctional way to deal with it.

Before you call the temperance league, however, ask yourself what you mean by "problem drinking." Not that I'm encouraging the routine use of alcohol as a balm to life's ills, but there's a difference between the hard-working cop who throws a few back with the boys on the weekend, and the officer who races to get blotto after every shift. Only you know what works for you and your family.
If it's really a problem you can't deal with, and if your spouse rebuffs your attempts to intervene, get help yourself from a professional specializing in addictions. Alternatively (or additionally), seek help from your departmental EAP for referral to specialized groups or programs.

Laurence Miller, PhD is a clinical, forensic, and consulting psychologist in Boca Raton, Florida, and police psychologist for the West Palm Beach Police Department. Dr. Miller can be reached at (561) 392-8881, or online at:
www.practicalpsych.com