A: Ministers have "preachers' kids," physicians have "docs' kids," psychologists and psychiatrists have "shrinks' kids," and police officers have "cops' kids." What all these offspring have in common is a parent whose profession is frequently intimidating or misunderstood.

One problem these kids often have is the expectation that they're supposed to be "extra good" because their parent represents some higher authority (e.g. God, medicine, or the American justice system). Peers may tease them, and this may spur the kids to impress their friends and prove their "chops" by doing a few extra-bad things just to show they're cool.

Sometimes, cops' kids get ragged on because of some report in the media. Newshounds love stories about police corruption and "dirty cops," and your child may be mercilessly assailed by jeering questions like, "Did your dad take drug money, too?"

Older children and teens may have had run-ins with the law, and may take out their resentment on the cop's kid in their class: "Hey, is your dad out there beating up some guy for running a red light?" In other cases, the classmates, or their parents or friends, may feel let down and disappointed by the perceived failure of law enforcement to adequately respond their emergency: "Sure, your dad couldn't stop our house from being robbed because he was too busy writing parking tickets."

Sometimes, it's jealousy. Despite its foibles, the law enforcement profession is still looked up to by most people, and if your dad's a cop and mine is something else, or unemployed, or not there at all, I may well project my sour grapes onto you.

Strategically, direct confrontation of schoolyard teasing is rarely effective because it just confirms the "gotcha reaction." What often works better is deflection. If your child is hit with a "who'd-your-dad-shoot-today?" comment, teach him to use Socratic dialogue queries. In other words, have him say something like, "What's your dad do?" If the other kid answers this surprise question, your child then says, "That's interesting, what kind of stuff does a [lawyer, store manager, truck driver, contractor, small business owner, cook, nurse, etc.] do during the day? Ditto for the other kids. This creates a forum for your child to educate his peers about what his police officer parent does for a living.

But remember - this only works if he actually knows what an officer's job is like, so discuss it with him, in age-appropriate terms, of course. If dad is proud of what he does, let this rub off on the kids, and they'll be proud too.

Laurence Miller, PhD is a clinical, forensic, and consulting psychologist in Boca Raton, Florida, and police psychologist for the West Palm Beach Police Department. Dr. Miller can be reached at (561) 392-8881, or online at:
www.practicalpsych.com