"... [love] keeps no record of wrongs."
1Corinthians 13:5b (NIV)

Since the divorce rate in law enforcement marriages is higher even than the national average, I think it's important to address the topic of marriage killers. We will be discussing some of the major killers over the next few devotionals.

You've all heard the phrase "I'll forgive, but I won't forget". In reality, that is not true forgiveness. That is unforgiveness. Unforgiveness will eat away at the very fabric of your marriage!

Have you ever brought up past offenses when you are angry with your
spouse? Or maybe thrown in a snide remark about how he "always" does a certain thing to upset you? These things do nothing to help solve the current situation and will only deepen the gap between you.

I'm not saying that past problems don't need to be discussed, especially if they are ongoing. However, it is not appropriate to discuss them in anger or to attach them to a current situation. If something is ongoing, it may be best to seek pastoral counsel together and work through the issues in an objective environment.

Search your heart to see if you are holding unforgiveness toward your
spouse. If you are, ask God to help you to handle it properly and make a choice to forgive once and for all.

Forgiveness is not a feeling; it is a choice. Don't be concerned if you don't "feel" differently once you forgive. Just follow through on your CHOICE to forgive. Over time the memory of the hurt will dissipate. Run unforgiveness out of your marriage... it's a killer!!!

PRAYER: Father, help these women to search their hearts and show them any area in which they are harboring unforgiveness. Heal their wounds; help them to forgive and to put the past behind them. In Jesus' name, amen.

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